ipenguin

Post V-Day: A Blessing in Disguise.

    Well this was quite an interesting holiday for me seeing that it was one that I disliked the most. Almost every year, I make a failure of an attempt to make it a wonderful night with someone special. This year I had thought I planned everything quite well. Made reservations at  LA Prime and had the table we were going to be seated arranged with flowers and a gift. It took alot of string-pulling, but somehow the reservations and planned event was set. Now all there was to do was to get her to go. She mentioned earlier that she wanted to be surprised so I thought it would be a good idea to sort of try to get her on the fly. That’s where it goes downhill. I call her as planned and she came down looking amazing. Me thinking wow was she really already planning that something fancy would happen? Good! We said our “Hi’s” and then I told her flat out. Come on. We’re going to be late. As soon as I said that I knew something is wrong. The color of her entire aura changed and it wasn’t bright at all. Turns out someone set something up also a called it a “surprise” (Yup that was the surprise she was referring to the whole time). I didn’t have the heart to be mad or frustrated. I just felt…blah. After a short time I left without her. Driving aimlessly around not knowing what to do. I called my reservation and told them I had to cancel. Fortunately, the lady was understanding and didn’t charge me anything for it. 

   You would think by now…aww man you messed up bro. Yea I did, but promise it get’s better. Ready? Set? CONTINUE!
    I end up going to K-Town because it always settles me down and puts me in a better mood. I meet up with my two friends/co-workers for M.V.P. Tintin and Danielle and we just talked and drank wine the entire night. In the back of my head I couldn’t help but to think about what happened. Why did I try to plan? Shouldn’t you have already known this would happen? What’s going to happen now? 

    It seemed like Tintin could read my face because he then started to talk to me about dance and what I want to do out of it. After talking with him about how I should be setting up my future, it hit me. I’m in the right position to start my path! It’s time to start focusing on teaching and dance that I shouldn’t be fretting over this like the way I was doing. After I left, I really felt good! Mind was past my problems. Heart is focused on the true goal. Eyes opened to the path ahead.

    I was beyond happy and motivated by spending time with Tintin and Danielle AAAND  new friend, Kelly. They helped me not think about it. They helped me refocus. They helped me DRANK! (hahaha) But really, I really do feel blessed that God has given me the opportunity to have people like this in my life. I’m pretty sure if I didn’t meet up with them I would have done something regrettable. 

  SOO that’s my story! At first it goes horribly wrong but because of that event I now have a refocused mind and heart for my passion. I was reminded that even in dark times there will always be a light of friendship  waiting to help you out. 

  TO MY FRIENDS! CHEERS!!!!!!!!!!

anonynaila:

subvertcliche:

mello-dramatic:

Everyone who reblogs this will get the title of a book to read based on their bio/posts.

Everyone. I mean it.

THIS IS THE BEST POST

I HAVE EVER SEEN

EVER

they really do mean everyone

Challenge Accepted

A Path that Leads to Nowhere.

   Geeze! Talk about being all deep for a title? Haha well this is another one of my rants that I go about on random days just because it’s been on my mind for such a long time that I feel I can’t just talk to people about it because it’s something that I don’t want a response. Rather It’s just a way of sorting my thoughts out. (Isn’t that what a journal blog is for?) Ok here we go! good luck!

     So for a while I’ve had this emptiness that has been slowly eating at me that many of us call “the single life.” I hate it. Alot of times I’ll meet people, hang with them and everything and ALWAYS I’ll start to think is this person “ship-worthy”? most times I can easily say No, sometimes I’ll say mayyybee, and other times I’ll say dayum I wish! but No… And then sometimes there are those that just leaves me with a big fat “0.o” on my face because I really don’t know what to think about with those people. These are the people that I find are most dangerous and create a path that not even Yoda can see!

       These people (that which I’ll call ‘Mysty’ for now) tend to be nice. Sometimes so nice that I’ll mistake their niceness for interest that which starts to create interest in me. A Mysty’s niceness can be in so many forms like making an effort to say ‘hi’ to me all the time, wanting to hang out, even talking to me on a regular basis. I’m a sucker for the comfortable so if I get comfortable with a person you are either going to be labeled as one of two things: family (my bro, my sister, my dog, my piece of cheese, etc.) or a Mysty. Many times Mystys turn into family as to which is what ever. But those that remain a Mysty are those that really kill me.

      Now alot of guys might think “Mike you are such a poon. Go after her and find out!” The problem is is that it doesn’t work so easily for me. In so many of my past relationships it almost always happens that there wasn’t any initial spark and it just falls through after a few go’s. Each relationship, be it bf/gf, dating, or special interest, has always stuck in my head as to what happened throughout that chapter of my life. Many tend to linger to remind me how I felt. This lingering feeling restricts me now to make a move. Especially with Mistys because I have already created such a good friendship with them, I’d hate to break it out of awkwardness. 

     The same questions always come up in my head whenever something happens or doesn’t happen with Mystys: What was the meaning behind what happened? Did I do something wrong to make her act like this to me? Did I do something right? Is she just being nice? Does she do this with everyone? Am I special enough to have something that she and I can only do? Should I ask her? What if It’s just being friendly? Is this how she acts with the guy she likes? Should I ask her? I didn’t get a response. Did I do something that made her feel uncomfortable? Should I ask her? What did she just do? Why?  Wait what? WHY?

   Yea I know what’s new? People go through this problem all the time right? They say that sometimes you just have to try to learn to grow. I would like to say that I can follow BUT I can’t because so many Mysty’s are just such valuable friends that I don’t want to ruin it or if I do ruin it How much more trouble can that get me into? I’ve tasted how it is to make a move, get caught up and then gotten torn to shreds by her friends to the point I’ve lost ALOT of good friends as an outcome. Not worth it. I’ve also seen it tear best friends appart to the point where they don’t even talk to each other or have no affiliation to the other in any way.  I don’t want that. Sure I might be being selfish about it but maybe deep down I’d prefer to have alot of friends and Mystys that turn into just friends. 

      But until I can confirm What is What the cycle will forever remain. And if a Mysty happens to come across this, well this may be awkward the next time we meet. Rant Over

Reblog if you’ve been to Disneyland more then once!

Only 4 times this year. Ill do better next year

(Source: obsessed-with-disney)

Memory that will forever be in my heart

   Hello!! Normally I rant on and on about problems in my life or things that bug me at the time. BUT!! Today I want to share with you the happiness that I’m feeling from these past two weeks! Even now I still cannot get over how amazing this experience was! I hope you’ll understand if you do read this and I hope you will be able to smile also.

  In my area I only know a very small handful of people that enjoy k-pop as much as I do. Of that handful there is an EVEN LESS amount of people that I actually hang out with. Which saddens me that I don’t get to interact with people of similar interest in person as much. Miraculously, one of my dear friends whom I look up to so much for her abilities on stage AND behind a “desk’ ask me to work with her on a project. Of course without hesitation I said yes and began thinking about how this will pan out and how it will affect my future. As time progressed I got to know these people and became very close to them. One of my friends that I hang out with almost ALL the time would always hear me talking about them and listen to the stories of what would happen during a certain event. I was really happy! To myself I thought wow! these people are MY kind of people where they really do love this and I can reference something and they’d catch on so quickly! I couldn’t help but to smile all the time about it. As time went on spending more time on our breaks together to get to know each other and talk about our similar interests I started really being comfortable and dreaded the fact that soon enough the amount of time we would be spending would be slim and more likely none. Come the final day of our little project all I thought about was man how much fun was that?! I hope I’ll be able to hang with them comfortably like that again! Why did this project end so quickly?!

Luckily, our similar interests brought us together again! A FULL DAY of K-pop culture! It was AMAZING! Seeing people who like so many different groups. Idolize so many different people. Even try to become the people they look up to! There wasn’t one person That I couldn’t share an interest in a group or a style and not be left out. It felt GOOD!! I was able to run into many people that I worked with again and was able to reconnect and just enjoy each other’s company among the thing we love. I don’t think there was ONE time that I was not happy that day! No matter how much something would bug me, my mood was solid. To end such an amazing event they held a concert with some of our favorite k-pop groups! WOW just wow!! I was able to see my #2 on my girl group list 4minute and I was AMAZED!!! My bias. Jiyoon had to cover for Gayoon who was sick at the time. Now if you know 4minute, Gayoon and Jiyoon already have separate complicated parts in their songsl the thought of one person to do BOTH of them?! DAEBAK!!!!

   As the concert ended thoughts came to my head. This is it…this  was the grand finale that we were waiting for. After today it’s totally unsure when I’m going to be able to hang out with them again. When are we going to all sit together and just talk about the most random things k-pop related? When can will I be able to fanboy and be comfortable because there’s still 100 other boys jamming just as hard as me?! It kinda brought a tear to my eye about how much I’m going to miss those moments. At the same time I still couldn’t help but to smile about how much as happened over what seems to be three days together. All the people I’ve met and become really close to…all the stories we’ve shared…all the stories about how much we didn’t like too much ONE CERTAIN PERSON! I could’t help but to smile. I was happy that it ended like this! I was happy that I was able to experience this! I was and the truest sense HAPPY!

People will come and go, but the memories will stay forever.  If you both hold that memory as you part, the next time you meet will be like you have never left each other’s side. =] *byong~*

Mistaken Too Often

   Wow! been quite a while since I’ve entered a new entry! This time is another experience in life where I know TOO many times people have had a taste of this at LEAST once in their young (and maybe older) lives. I’d just like to share with you my experience in it and my thoughts. Maybe we can help each other move on with these errors to continue to live our lives without something crashing and burning.

   So some time ago I’ve made quite a good friend after beginning a new chapter of dance. This person was pretty cool, had similar interests as me, DANCED, and enjoyed just chilling. Seems like a good match eh? Sike. I instantly friend-zoned her because I knew other people were going for her so I knew it wouldn’t be worth my time to try. For the longest I talked to her shared some new experiences and even introduced her to my family (not many of my friends have seen my family for the few that have consider yourself on the ‘immune from my shit list…list’)

  Of course hanging with someone so much people can only assume and assumptions can sometimes bring thoughts into their head to actually consider and initially I actually gave it a thought of ‘what if’ which is the most dangerous type of thoughts that man can ever conjure. As time continued I knew that ‘what if’ wont be possible just by our life styles (I’d like to quote one of my cousins for this “YOU AIN’T ABOUT THAT LIFE!”). So I accepted it and made it a point to at least be my signature good friend level that many people know me for.

  Some of you may ask: Good good friend level? What’s that about? It’s pretty simple. I like helping. When my friends need help I will do what I can do help them. You need a ride? I got’chu! You hungry? Let’s grab a bite to eat and chill! Don’t trip! There’s an emergency and you need some cash? If I know it’s something I support, YOU GOT IT! Yeah I TRY to go to the ends of the Earth to help my friends and the closer you are to me, the more I try to expose you to the things I like. Cafes, Lounges, Viewpoints, Events, etc.. I like hanging out with my friends and getting to know then and making sure they have a good time. It’s just something that makes me feel good to see people around me smile.

    Unfortunately, too many people mistake this for other intentions. ‘He/she is being way too nice. Maybe he likes me. EW.’ NO! People need to stop that! Currently, this person that I previously introduced has tried to low key cut me out without telling me. When I talked to that person some time ago they’re excuse for cutting me out was ‘I’ve been going through alot’…aaalright i guess. I’m sorry I guess I’m not a good enough friend in your eyes to talk to me about this? Understandable if there’s someone more suited to help you but to cut me out like that for that? nahh!

     In my opinion that is totally rude! I do what I can ALL the time to help and if what I get in return is that? CUT!! Don’t bother me anymore because now I are just one of those people that are friends when they need something. I don’t need those.Done!

 So that’s my past event. I know many of you have had something like this. You’re genuinely nice to someone you are flirting with them. WHAT?! No What people need to understand is When us nice people want to flirt you will know. Our way of talking to you and treating you will be quite different. Why can’t we be nice without having the other think there is an ulterior motive? Too many times I’ve lost friends because they think this way of us.

  To people that have had this happen to you I offer you three solutions. 1) Change your behavior and be an ass to everyone! 2) Wear a sign that gives people a precaution that some of your gestures and mannerisms may be taken as flirting but it isn’t 3) Don’t let it get to you because the people that make the mistake are not worth your friendship and probably too immature for you to deal with.

I hope you enjoyed this read! I know most of you will just scroll past it and that’s ok because I’m used to it. LOL VENT OVER! RANT OVER!

The Truth about it

So many people wonder why I’m never too excited about my birthday. Many ask “Oh what’s your plan?!” or “Doing anything special?” My reply is almost ALWAYS is “Nothing…” alot of people think something is wrong with me or something happened and I say nothing or just make up a story so they don’t ask much more about it.

Here is my truth:
     With another year older I look back and I notice that within that year so many of my friends have accomplished so much more in comparison to me. I really question what I’ve done so far and how far am I to my life goals. Many times it’s a bit depressing and a big reality check for me to be a little more responsible and more focused.

     Every year I try to do to much and burn myself out about the whole thing. If you know me then you know that I HATE planning and coordinating with alot of people. In the past Ive tried to make it extravagant and have many many people there….yea that goes to shit and I get sad. So I never want to plan anything and spare myself for any more defeat. In the end, people want to do something and then I end up having to coordinate something even though I’m deathly busy and I get stressed out trying to appeal to other people…ON MY BIRTHDAY!

     Single ready to mingle? Sike…I’m not gonna lie I hate being single. Even though I haven’t had many girlfriends the times I did were probably the happiest Ive been because I know that I have someone to be with for the time being. Although, it always seems to be like I can never find someone to be ‘courting’ or even have someone on these special ocasions. Although, I can’t really be too mad at myself because on a regular basis I’m always busy. Which is why I almost NEVER take a day off of work on my Birthday because there isn’t anyone to suprise me and make my day amazing.

     One of the biggest things I hate about my birthday has to be my false hope. Every year I hope that people would plan behind my back and prepare a birthday suprise for me. This would naturally be something beyond amazing because of many reasons. 1) I’m NOT planning it! 2) I know that I made an impact for my friends to do something special for me 3) I’d get the feeling that someone or a group of people really went out of the way to make the day special for me. I’ve never had a suprise party, nor have a had too many occasions when people do something for me that I didn’t expect. I’m a person who has things prepared and prepares things. My life works on schedule so when things go out of whack I kinda get excited for things being different from what I expected.

Don’t get me wrong I appreciate my birthday! It shows that God has given me another year of living and being where I am. It shows that people do take the time out to post on my wall, leave a twitter comment, or call/text. It does bring a smile that it’s my birthday. I guess you can say that the celebrating portion of my birthday is what I really dislike. “Maybe this year will be different?” and so begins another cycle.

mmmphf!